I was quite the nervous girl, worried and uncomfortable about the fact I was going to cross of an item off my bucket list.
See, I am very cool with the idea of nudism. Cool and non judgmental about other people’s bodies. I have seen many over the decades especially waxing women and men for a living and have seen all types of shapes, colors, and designs. Knowing that, I love them all.
However, I had been kinda hard on myself lately when my shape had changed to something I did not like nor want. The shape got bigger and because of my frame it wasn’t bigger in the ideal areas. And when that happens, the design changes and all the lumps, bumps, dimples , and creases become very visible. This makes me quite depressed and embarrassed, which dominoes into shame, hiding from the bathing suit and reaching for the comfort foods for love and acceptance.
Well, I know have to stop that cycle. I can’t be nervous and embarrassed about my body the way it has become. I don’t want it to stop me from having fun, feeling good and crossing off items off my bucket list. Why be a prisoner and let a negative mental perspective rule my life!
So, I gave myself a challenge to go to a clothing optional resort …AS IS! I was not going to wait around for my body to be ideal for me, but for me to be okay with every change it makes.
Well I met up with some great friends from the Tampa-St. Petersburg area at Caliente Resort & Spa. Caliente has several pools, a hot tub, 2 restaurants including a sports bar, a night club, shops, a spa and a hotel for those flying in from around the country.
And wow what a place. It reminded me of Fantasy Island!
As we were parking, I saw a men and women unloading their cars naked and the adventure began.
In any normal setting it may have been a little weird, however it seemed normal.
See, those people that were walking around going into the resort were pros. Meaning, not acting silly, ashamed and embarrassed, they were completely going about there business without a care in the world and they were completely tan all over, no tan lines. I watch them unpack, walk in and then set up a spot in the sun to relax. They did all of this with no effort at all. They waved to their friends and even hugged them as they get settled in. It was as if I was in another continent seeing natives in their own habitat.
This was so intriguing…
Then, I saw people like me. Well at least with the same lumpy, bumpy, droopy, floppy parts and thought to myself… “Yes, I am among my people!” But, there was a difference, they were also at the pro status. They were calm, cool, collected and tanned like a sun-grown Maduro cigar. They were happy, enjoying life and very non judgmental, respectful and loving towards the others.
Wow, I was in awe. They were at perfect peace with nature and themselves.
Ahhhh, if only I can reach that level.
Baby steps. So, I put all of my stuff down on a lounge chair. But, OMG it is so obvious I am a stranger to to their land.
Yes, I brought a bag of clothes. More clothing, wraps, hats, accessories than everyone else here put together. I had brought more clothing to a nudist resort than I do to Daytona! WTH?
Well, I think in my head that if I have some layers to cover up with, I can unwrap as I go. This way I can wear things to distract from my body and hide what I don’t like, maybe keep others from having to see my flaws and avoid their judgments. So, I fumble around with all my gear, wondering when will it be the right time to go topless? All the while and trying not to act scared or like a newbie. Maybe I fooled everyone with my confidence? Nope, I am white with tan lined skin and acting like a virgin, clumsy, skid-dish and sweating while pulling up my waist lined wrap up as high as it would go. Lol, I am such a dork. I can’t fool anyone.
But as I look around, I don’t see anyone looking at me. If they did see me, it was for a second as they looked up from their book only to give me an accepting smile and then they went back to reading.
Hmm, that was cool.
No one smirked at me, no one leaned over to their friends to say, “Look at the new girl and why is she wearing that?” Or “Oh my, why do we gotta see all that? Put back on more clothes!”
After ten minutes of watching people do their thing, as if they were at a golf and country club pool I noticed one ever big difference. Total acceptance! And total friendliness, total respect, total love and caring. Never before in my life have have I experienced this before, well not at this level at least. I felt more comfortable here tanning than at a non-nudist pool. Go figure!
It was better than comfort food or drinks. And I found it similar to to the cigar lifestyle, where if you are smoking a cigar you are an instant friend and no one ever cares who you are what you do for a living.
But this nudism lifestyle is at a much greater scale. They were the most non-judgmental, most accepting, the most kind and all with the biggest smiles and loudest laughs. All shapes and sizes were here and they were all perfect in their own individualism.
Wow, so cool that as I walked around (topless) I met folks and they welcomed me whole heatedly. Such a warm and friendly environment.
I really enjoyed watching the couples from the ages of 30’s to 80’s as they walk hand in hand and gave out hugs in the pools and waving to friends. Awe, I love the love. So stinking cute!
I felt at Peace. I was honored to be a part of this great tribe of cool loving secure folks.
As I get more comfortable with everything I go see Angye for tata painting. Yay my element, but now to do this in public. Hmm,
I did it! What no drunk oogle-googly guys hanging over me to see my tits? Wow I love this place. So respectful! No one bats an eye. But rather happy to to see my painting. oh cool. Had a blast.
After lunch with John we smoked cigars and watched everyone enjoy tiki bar karaoke.
As on most summer weekends there was an event taking place there by The Night Moves Magazine. Raffles, spin the wheel, great giveaways, tata painting and a non-bathing suit bikini content. We cheered on a girl who add taped cherries to her nipples. Lol!
After cigars I was ready to go completely nude and went to the smaller more private pool.
I did it!
It felt great!
Wahoo, look at me go. Ok, no one’s looking, even better. Wahoo!
Let me tell you, a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders!
The fear, the non-acceptance of my own body and the fear of others judgement’s were all gone. I was accepted, admired, loved and respected for me! I didn’t feel naughty, dirty, nor felt weird!
Wow, I am happy…truly happy with myself.
I walked away feeling more at peace and had three times the confidence I came in with. I would have to say I grew a lot, and gained so much self respect for myself .
It was true life changing experience. ..for the better!